The Five Senses

I see myself covered in rotten food sinking into the quagmire of a marshland. I taste the sweat and blood of my own exertions to escape. I have to fight the urge to vomit over the stench of the decaying flesh around me. My feet feel like they have been weighted with iron and dried cement. I hear nothing but the unearthly screams and curses of others in my situation. I put my hands to my ears and clamp my ears shut and anguish fills my heart.
Before I open my eyes again, I notice the sensation of a cool breeze around my feet and legs. I can wiggle my toes. The breeze carries the smell of home cooking, clean clothes and sweet creation past my nose. My eyes spring open and feast on the sight of beautiful black sand beaches, crystal blue water and green, snow-capped mountains in the distance. My ears are tickles by the sounds of breakers, voices singing and laughing and the whispered presence of the One I love. I turn to see Him and He says, “Sweetheart, I’m glad you’re here. Please join me for dinner. We have so much to talk about.” The food is delicious.
“O, taste and see that the Lord is Good: blessed is the man who trusts in Him.” Psalm 34:8
Do not be fooled. God sees our sin, faith, despair, hope, and everything else as reality. He sees it as easy as we see the creation around us. So why, when we look at people who are do not know God, do we insist on looking at them in judgment instead of pity? Why do we not witness to them with the urgency of someone who would rescue a drowning man? How can we be content with paradise knowing that so many people we run in to everyday will not be there to enjoy it with us? Why do we condemn them when we ARE them? God forgive us for our arrogancy! Please, give us Your hands so we can touch the unclean. Give us Your ears so that we can hear their pleads for help in their curses. Give us Your eyes so we can see their need. Give us Your mouth so we can speak sweet words of healing. Give us Your nose, so that we will know the fragrant sacrifice that delights you. Amen.

Of Trust-falls and Crutches

“Trust in the Lord with all thine heart: and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.”
When God says trust Him in ALL your heart, He doesn’t mean just the easy things. He also doesn’t mean just the things we think about entrusting to Him because they are not as significant. For instance, when I was working at a boarding school in New Zealand, I learned some things about my heart. I learned that my heart is easily distracted by a handsome face or charming accent. I also learned that, when ministry/missions is your passion, it becomes your heart. You are thrilled by “successes” and crushed by “failures.” So, Trust Him with your heart, that deep inner part of you that you would die to protect from pain and only trust to the people closest to you.
Another thing of which God has been reminding me is where to lean. In my world, if I can’t figure out how something could happen, it becomes impossible… a trait I have inherited from my father. This is especially the case with my life of late. I have been looking for a job for quite sometime but can’t seem to find one anywhere… not even in mundane work. Despite this fact, I feel the leading of God to go back to school for my Master’s degree. I have turned to God many times and asked, “Just how do You expect me to pay for school if I don’t have a job?” How foolish I am and how easy it is to mentally squish God into a refrigerator box. Is not God the Creator of all things and all knowledge? Isn’t He the Owner of all things and the Dictator of how resources should be used? Why do I fret because finances are running low and there is no relief in sight? *sigh
So trust, lean and acknowledge. What is the difference between trusting and leaning? Aren’t they basically the same thing. Trust is like a trust-fall. It is a sign of complete abandon or surrender to one’s fate and the hands of the One who catches you. Leaning is like a crutch. It is a persistent aid when a burden is too painful or heavy to bear. Everyday, not just in missions, I need to trust and lean… then acknowledging God is obvious because I never would have made it thus far without Him.

Sincerest Apologies!

The title of this blog gives away much of its content. All I can do is humbly and profusely apologize for neglecting all my readers by not writing a post for some time. God has been very good and faithful to me. He has supplied me with so many blessings that I often take them for granted. My greatest blessing has been that He has given me ministry, people to whom to reach out and give the love of Jesus. I just love to love on people and the pattern of my life does not always give us the opportunity. There is no more to say but to assure you that I will seek to be more consistant in future. Thank you for your attention.