I will go... only if its fun.

"Take up thy cross and follow Me," I heard my Master say;
"I gave My life to ransom thee, Surrender your all today."
Wherever He leads I'll go, Wherever He leads I'll go,
I'll follow my Christ who loves me so, Wherever He leads I'll go.

He drew me closer to His side, I sought His will to know,
And in that will I now abide, Wherever He leads I'll go.
Wherever He leads I'll go, Wherever He leads I'll go,
I'll follow my Christ who loves me so, Wherever He leads I'll go.

It may be thru' the shadows dim, Or o'er the stormy sea,
I take my cross and follow Him, Wherever He leadeth me.
Wherever He leads I'll go, Wherever He leads I'll go,
I'll follow my Christ who loves me so, Wherever He leads I'll go.

My heart, my life, my all I bring To Christ who loves me so;
he is my Master, Lord, and King, Wherever He leads I'll go.
Wherever He leads I'll go, Wherever He leads I'll go,
I'll follow my Christ who loves me so, Wherever He leads I'll go.

I was called to be a missionary when I was 8. For several years, I have considered this to be the anthem of my life. I have never been afraid of where God would send me. I have dreamed of sleeping in a hut in Africa, walking the streets of a European town, enjoying the hospitality of Latin church members or standing agog at the pagodas of East Asia. In the past, as I have sung songs like these, it has been with dreams in my mind of where “wherever” might be. I never dreamed God would NOT send me somewhere...exciting. I never thought He would tell me to simply go home. As I sat in church on Sunday, we sang this song as part of the invitation (the focus was international missions). At first I sang, unmoved, the lyrics I knew so well… but as I sang, I heard a still small voice speak softly in my ear “My love, you know this is not true. You have fought me about the one place I wanted you most. You have not followed me ANYWHERE. You have not been willing to follow me home.” I felt like someone had dumped a bucket of ice water on my head. I was humbled by my own arrogance to strut around like I had no issues with obedience or surrender or following God. I had no issues so long as it came on my terms and in my way. My goodness I am self-absorbed. And yet, God does not give up. He keeps working His will in my life, no matter how disgruntled I am. That just goes to show you what a loving, faithful God He is!

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For years I have lived within a “comfort zone.” Even while traveling to third-world countries and finding myself in dangerous situations or completely alone on the missions field, there has been a “comfort zone” quality about it. “Comfort zones” provide a certain level of security, safety, acceptance and pleasure. Adventure, discomfort and possibility lie just outside that bubble of comfort. So why would a “comfort zoneless life” bring me misery? It’s rather confusing to explain but while I’m in the comfort zone, my life holds few surprises. It’s stable, change-less and predictable. I don’t have to exercise much faith and my spiritual growth is stunted. Also, my ministry is hindered because I’m not willing to take risks but because it feels good, I am willing to sustain these losses. Right now, I’m living outside of any comfort zone and there is no foreseeable time in which I will return to a comfort zone. I’m not intrinsically professional and yet I’m in a highly professional job. My passion is ministry and evangelism (if you haven’t noticed) but I find myself in a strictly unreligious environment. There are times I want to quit and give up. I’m scared. Part of me would rather go back to my comfort zone but I won’t. You see, I know I’m in the center of God’s will and with that knowledge, God’s peace is present. I don’t know why He has chosen this place and this time to demolish my comfort zones but it is forcing me to the extremity of my faith and further. When I think I can’t go further without danger or loss, God says, “Take another step my love.” So what about my misery? Well, its there, but it doesn’t have to stay there. This is one of those times when my will has to overcome my emotion and tell it what to do. “Put on your grown-up pants and knuckle through.” So God, its You and me. Let’s Roll.