Wait. I really hate that word. Wait. It seems like every time I want to do something important, memorable, valiant, I am told to wait. What am I waiting for? Like right now. I graduated in May of 2009 with a BA in Communications. I want to write. I want to create. I want to shine. I am ready to do these things but… every time I ask God what I should do, He says “Wait, my love.” Again I ask, what am I waiting for? It is so hard to put my desires and ambitions aside when there is no clear direction or purpose laid out for me. What do I do while I wait?
I have been contemplating this for several weeks now. If I want to serve the Lord one day, in fulltime ministry, it is time that I know the voice of God and obey EVERYTHING He says. I have been fighting against “wait” for some time. Fighting, until this past weekend rolled around. Suddenly, God brought a thought to mind. What if I had a vision from God, this very night, telling me that I was going to die suddenly exactly one year from today. What would I do? How would I use the time that was given to me? When faced with death, priorities tend to change and what used to be vitally important, suddenly becomes obsolete. So, what about my life and my priorities?
Although this thought might seem morbid or fruitless, a truth came to light. I do not know when God will choose to “call me home.” It could be when I am 90, after a long, full life. Oh the other hand, it could be much sooner than that. All I know is that I have the day, the moment, I am living right now. With this truth, I have decided to change the way I have been living. I am going to live each day like it could be my last. I am going to do some things I have been meaning to do for years, like taking a photography course and becoming fluent in Spanish. I am also going to start valuing small things, like spending time with those I love. Most importantly, I am going to be a witness to the lost and an encouragement to the saved in everything I do. By God’s grace, each moment will be more meaningful and productive. “I, therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you to walk worthy of the calling with which you were called of God.” (Ephesians 4:1, NAS) While I wait, I will walk worthily.
Something that kills me the most is when I know my friends are going through situations where God is teaching them patience like I know He's done to me too, but I know I can't do anything to help them out. When it's between them and God and their own consciences.
ReplyDelete--pamela evans