I see myself covered in rotten food sinking into the quagmire of a marshland. I taste the sweat and blood of my own exertions to escape. I have to fight the urge to vomit over the stench of the decaying flesh around me. My feet feel like they have been weighted with iron and dried cement. I hear nothing but the unearthly screams and curses of others in my situation. I put my hands to my ears and clamp my ears shut and anguish fills my heart.
Before I open my eyes again, I notice the sensation of a cool breeze around my feet and legs. I can wiggle my toes. The breeze carries the smell of home cooking, clean clothes and sweet creation past my nose. My eyes spring open and feast on the sight of beautiful black sand beaches, crystal blue water and green, snow-capped mountains in the distance. My ears are tickles by the sounds of breakers, voices singing and laughing and the whispered presence of the One I love. I turn to see Him and He says, “Sweetheart, I’m glad you’re here. Please join me for dinner. We have so much to talk about.” The food is delicious.
“O, taste and see that the Lord is Good: blessed is the man who trusts in Him.” Psalm 34:8
Do not be fooled. God sees our sin, faith, despair, hope, and everything else as reality. He sees it as easy as we see the creation around us. So why, when we look at people who are do not know God, do we insist on looking at them in judgment instead of pity? Why do we not witness to them with the urgency of someone who would rescue a drowning man? How can we be content with paradise knowing that so many people we run in to everyday will not be there to enjoy it with us? Why do we condemn them when we ARE them? God forgive us for our arrogancy! Please, give us Your hands so we can touch the unclean. Give us Your ears so that we can hear their pleads for help in their curses. Give us Your eyes so we can see their need. Give us Your mouth so we can speak sweet words of healing. Give us Your nose, so that we will know the fragrant sacrifice that delights you. Amen.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Of Trust-falls and Crutches
“Trust in the Lord with all thine heart: and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.”
When God says trust Him in ALL your heart, He doesn’t mean just the easy things. He also doesn’t mean just the things we think about entrusting to Him because they are not as significant. For instance, when I was working at a boarding school in New Zealand, I learned some things about my heart. I learned that my heart is easily distracted by a handsome face or charming accent. I also learned that, when ministry/missions is your passion, it becomes your heart. You are thrilled by “successes” and crushed by “failures.” So, Trust Him with your heart, that deep inner part of you that you would die to protect from pain and only trust to the people closest to you.
Another thing of which God has been reminding me is where to lean. In my world, if I can’t figure out how something could happen, it becomes impossible… a trait I have inherited from my father. This is especially the case with my life of late. I have been looking for a job for quite sometime but can’t seem to find one anywhere… not even in mundane work. Despite this fact, I feel the leading of God to go back to school for my Master’s degree. I have turned to God many times and asked, “Just how do You expect me to pay for school if I don’t have a job?” How foolish I am and how easy it is to mentally squish God into a refrigerator box. Is not God the Creator of all things and all knowledge? Isn’t He the Owner of all things and the Dictator of how resources should be used? Why do I fret because finances are running low and there is no relief in sight? *sigh
So trust, lean and acknowledge. What is the difference between trusting and leaning? Aren’t they basically the same thing. Trust is like a trust-fall. It is a sign of complete abandon or surrender to one’s fate and the hands of the One who catches you. Leaning is like a crutch. It is a persistent aid when a burden is too painful or heavy to bear. Everyday, not just in missions, I need to trust and lean… then acknowledging God is obvious because I never would have made it thus far without Him.
When God says trust Him in ALL your heart, He doesn’t mean just the easy things. He also doesn’t mean just the things we think about entrusting to Him because they are not as significant. For instance, when I was working at a boarding school in New Zealand, I learned some things about my heart. I learned that my heart is easily distracted by a handsome face or charming accent. I also learned that, when ministry/missions is your passion, it becomes your heart. You are thrilled by “successes” and crushed by “failures.” So, Trust Him with your heart, that deep inner part of you that you would die to protect from pain and only trust to the people closest to you.
Another thing of which God has been reminding me is where to lean. In my world, if I can’t figure out how something could happen, it becomes impossible… a trait I have inherited from my father. This is especially the case with my life of late. I have been looking for a job for quite sometime but can’t seem to find one anywhere… not even in mundane work. Despite this fact, I feel the leading of God to go back to school for my Master’s degree. I have turned to God many times and asked, “Just how do You expect me to pay for school if I don’t have a job?” How foolish I am and how easy it is to mentally squish God into a refrigerator box. Is not God the Creator of all things and all knowledge? Isn’t He the Owner of all things and the Dictator of how resources should be used? Why do I fret because finances are running low and there is no relief in sight? *sigh
So trust, lean and acknowledge. What is the difference between trusting and leaning? Aren’t they basically the same thing. Trust is like a trust-fall. It is a sign of complete abandon or surrender to one’s fate and the hands of the One who catches you. Leaning is like a crutch. It is a persistent aid when a burden is too painful or heavy to bear. Everyday, not just in missions, I need to trust and lean… then acknowledging God is obvious because I never would have made it thus far without Him.
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Sincerest Apologies!
The title of this blog gives away much of its content. All I can do is humbly and profusely apologize for neglecting all my readers by not writing a post for some time. God has been very good and faithful to me. He has supplied me with so many blessings that I often take them for granted. My greatest blessing has been that He has given me ministry, people to whom to reach out and give the love of Jesus. I just love to love on people and the pattern of my life does not always give us the opportunity. There is no more to say but to assure you that I will seek to be more consistant in future. Thank you for your attention.
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Saints in Lock-up
I've always heard that foreign prisons are the places nightmares are born... but I was surprised by what I found. The prison was large, filled with felons and some of the worst criminals in the country. It served as sort of holding bay for criminals bound for other, higher security prisons in the land. The inmates were ruthless, dirty and hungry. Not exactly the ideal setting for a church let alone a Bible school. But you know, God does not work the way we do. He reaches out to everyone and offers them a personal relationship with Him.
God spoke to a pastor in Johannesburg, South Africa and told him to begin preaching in the prison. It seemed pointless and absurd but God had other plans. The prisoners were more open than expected. They began trusting in Christ. The pastor found Bibles for the inmates and the new believers began to have regular meetings, which became a prison church. God wasn’t done there. Because of the nature of the prison, a holding place before inmates were sent to other facilities, many of the new Christians from this church were sent to other prisons, away from their “home church.” God had so changed the lives of the inmates who trusted in Him that they began to lead others to the Lord. As the pastor of the prison church began to notice this trend, God impressed upon him the need to train pastors for these new churches springing up in other prisons. Acting on the direction of God, the pastor started teaching Bible classes. These classes quickly became a school for pastors. For God, nothing is impossible and He is in control of all things. He loves everyone and calls people from all walks of life to know Him personally.
***Remember to pray for our brothers and sisters who have come to know the Lord in prison. When they re-enter society, they will experience Satanic oppression unlike many of us will ever experience in our lifetimes.
God spoke to a pastor in Johannesburg, South Africa and told him to begin preaching in the prison. It seemed pointless and absurd but God had other plans. The prisoners were more open than expected. They began trusting in Christ. The pastor found Bibles for the inmates and the new believers began to have regular meetings, which became a prison church. God wasn’t done there. Because of the nature of the prison, a holding place before inmates were sent to other facilities, many of the new Christians from this church were sent to other prisons, away from their “home church.” God had so changed the lives of the inmates who trusted in Him that they began to lead others to the Lord. As the pastor of the prison church began to notice this trend, God impressed upon him the need to train pastors for these new churches springing up in other prisons. Acting on the direction of God, the pastor started teaching Bible classes. These classes quickly became a school for pastors. For God, nothing is impossible and He is in control of all things. He loves everyone and calls people from all walks of life to know Him personally.
***Remember to pray for our brothers and sisters who have come to know the Lord in prison. When they re-enter society, they will experience Satanic oppression unlike many of us will ever experience in our lifetimes.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Waiting on God & Live Like You are Dying
Wait. I really hate that word. Wait. It seems like every time I want to do something important, memorable, valiant, I am told to wait. What am I waiting for? Like right now. I graduated in May of 2009 with a BA in Communications. I want to write. I want to create. I want to shine. I am ready to do these things but… every time I ask God what I should do, He says “Wait, my love.” Again I ask, what am I waiting for? It is so hard to put my desires and ambitions aside when there is no clear direction or purpose laid out for me. What do I do while I wait?
I have been contemplating this for several weeks now. If I want to serve the Lord one day, in fulltime ministry, it is time that I know the voice of God and obey EVERYTHING He says. I have been fighting against “wait” for some time. Fighting, until this past weekend rolled around. Suddenly, God brought a thought to mind. What if I had a vision from God, this very night, telling me that I was going to die suddenly exactly one year from today. What would I do? How would I use the time that was given to me? When faced with death, priorities tend to change and what used to be vitally important, suddenly becomes obsolete. So, what about my life and my priorities?
Although this thought might seem morbid or fruitless, a truth came to light. I do not know when God will choose to “call me home.” It could be when I am 90, after a long, full life. Oh the other hand, it could be much sooner than that. All I know is that I have the day, the moment, I am living right now. With this truth, I have decided to change the way I have been living. I am going to live each day like it could be my last. I am going to do some things I have been meaning to do for years, like taking a photography course and becoming fluent in Spanish. I am also going to start valuing small things, like spending time with those I love. Most importantly, I am going to be a witness to the lost and an encouragement to the saved in everything I do. By God’s grace, each moment will be more meaningful and productive. “I, therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you to walk worthy of the calling with which you were called of God.” (Ephesians 4:1, NAS) While I wait, I will walk worthily.
I have been contemplating this for several weeks now. If I want to serve the Lord one day, in fulltime ministry, it is time that I know the voice of God and obey EVERYTHING He says. I have been fighting against “wait” for some time. Fighting, until this past weekend rolled around. Suddenly, God brought a thought to mind. What if I had a vision from God, this very night, telling me that I was going to die suddenly exactly one year from today. What would I do? How would I use the time that was given to me? When faced with death, priorities tend to change and what used to be vitally important, suddenly becomes obsolete. So, what about my life and my priorities?
Although this thought might seem morbid or fruitless, a truth came to light. I do not know when God will choose to “call me home.” It could be when I am 90, after a long, full life. Oh the other hand, it could be much sooner than that. All I know is that I have the day, the moment, I am living right now. With this truth, I have decided to change the way I have been living. I am going to live each day like it could be my last. I am going to do some things I have been meaning to do for years, like taking a photography course and becoming fluent in Spanish. I am also going to start valuing small things, like spending time with those I love. Most importantly, I am going to be a witness to the lost and an encouragement to the saved in everything I do. By God’s grace, each moment will be more meaningful and productive. “I, therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you to walk worthy of the calling with which you were called of God.” (Ephesians 4:1, NAS) While I wait, I will walk worthily.
Monday, April 26, 2010
Worship & Evangelism, pt. 1
“Missions is not the ultimate goal of the church.Worship is. Missions exist because worships doesn’t. Worship is ultimate, not missions, because God is ultimate, not man. When this age is over, and the countless millions of the redeemed fall on their faces before the throne of God, missions will be no more. It is a temporary necessity. But worship abides forever.” (Piper, pg. 17)
I have started reading “Let the Nations Be Glad” by John Piper. I’m only halfway through the first chapter and already I am convicted and “empowered” by what he has written. Piper explains that without a zealous, captivated love for God, missions would not exist. We were made to love and worship God. Missions is a display of that love and is driven by a desire for others to fall in love with God in a similar fashion. “You can’t commend what you don’t cherish.”(Piper, pg. 17) “Where passion for God is weak, Seal for missions will be weak.”(Piper, pg. 18) Why can’t I remember that I have a relationship and not a religion! It is natural for me to “change the image of incorruptible God” into a slight imitation of it found in corruptible nature. (Romans 1:18, King James Version) (Piper, pg. 28)
What I found the most startling, so far, was the revelation that God is most concerned with giving Himself glory. Does that not sound incredibly selfish and egotistical? And yet, I am human and have not come into full contact with the glory of God so I cannot understand the unavoidable necessity to give glory to God. “The deepest reason why our passion for God should fuel missions is that God’s passion for God fuels missions.”(Piper, pg. 21) So, God is the only One that really matters… why am I surprised?
I have started reading “Let the Nations Be Glad” by John Piper. I’m only halfway through the first chapter and already I am convicted and “empowered” by what he has written. Piper explains that without a zealous, captivated love for God, missions would not exist. We were made to love and worship God. Missions is a display of that love and is driven by a desire for others to fall in love with God in a similar fashion. “You can’t commend what you don’t cherish.”(Piper, pg. 17) “Where passion for God is weak, Seal for missions will be weak.”(Piper, pg. 18) Why can’t I remember that I have a relationship and not a religion! It is natural for me to “change the image of incorruptible God” into a slight imitation of it found in corruptible nature. (Romans 1:18, King James Version) (Piper, pg. 28)
What I found the most startling, so far, was the revelation that God is most concerned with giving Himself glory. Does that not sound incredibly selfish and egotistical? And yet, I am human and have not come into full contact with the glory of God so I cannot understand the unavoidable necessity to give glory to God. “The deepest reason why our passion for God should fuel missions is that God’s passion for God fuels missions.”(Piper, pg. 21) So, God is the only One that really matters… why am I surprised?
Monday, April 19, 2010
Think Gospel
Once again, the Bible study I attend has given me a topic on which to write. It’s a topic that has brought great conviction to me this week. I had to ask myself a question… one that you too should ask yourself. How much time do I really devote to Christ? Do I think about Him in all situations?
I was stunned by the idea. As I thought about my life right now, I noticed that I have not been focused on all that God has done for me. I have not made the gospel my “go-to guy.” Rather, I shrank God and His gospel down to the size of my biggest problems. The gospel has the power to be victorious over all. Its not just something to save you from Hell. It is what makes life endurable down here.
I realized right then and there that I had left the gospel, like an old package, on December 5, 1993, the day I got saved. So, what does the gospel mean to me now that I have been living the Christian life for a while? What continued significance does Christ’s Incarnation, Passion, Crucifixion, Resurrection, Ascension and Second Coming hold for my life? Or is it merely important for Salvation? I ask these questions because I have realized that I must understand and love the Gospel in order to be able to spread that love and understanding to others. How can you explain something you don’t understand?
So do you have any thoughts?
I was stunned by the idea. As I thought about my life right now, I noticed that I have not been focused on all that God has done for me. I have not made the gospel my “go-to guy.” Rather, I shrank God and His gospel down to the size of my biggest problems. The gospel has the power to be victorious over all. Its not just something to save you from Hell. It is what makes life endurable down here.
I realized right then and there that I had left the gospel, like an old package, on December 5, 1993, the day I got saved. So, what does the gospel mean to me now that I have been living the Christian life for a while? What continued significance does Christ’s Incarnation, Passion, Crucifixion, Resurrection, Ascension and Second Coming hold for my life? Or is it merely important for Salvation? I ask these questions because I have realized that I must understand and love the Gospel in order to be able to spread that love and understanding to others. How can you explain something you don’t understand?
So do you have any thoughts?
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